What are "Cat Kisses"?

We give a "cat kiss" with the slow blink of our eyes.

As below, with Tristan, before the lower lids would start to pull up into the distinctive cat kiss squint.

Many people would look at this intent gaze and think there is angry or "mean" intent in the cat, when they are actually trying to engage our attention.

Cats have just as many facial expressions as people do. We only have to learn what they are.

Here, in RJ, we are almost at the fully closed eyes, which then get squeezed shut to show how much they care.

 For more, see my blog post, Cat Affection Move: Cat Kisses.

Adult Cat Adoption - So easy!

What is the easiest, and best, way to get a cat? It's getting an adult cat from a shelter.

I'm fairly sure that is not the response most people would think of; something like "kittens given away" or "taking in the stray who shows up" would be what most people think of as The Easiest.

But it is all about how we define "easy," isn't it? These methods require little effort on our part... at first. Yet, they require the greatest effort in shaping this cat into a wonderful pet. Especially if we are new to cats.

The problem with cats as randomly found objects is that we need to do health and personality evaluations. Before giving them the run of our home and our heart.

Do we have a quarantine room we can set up?

Do we know what they are saying when they are upset and frightened?

Can we tell if they are sick or hurt or suffering?

A good shelter is able to answer a lot of these questions. Plus, we get vet care, ID chipping, and reassurance.

Kittens are delightful and cuddly but require more time and patience than adults. Adult cats should come home altered and up to date on their shots. It's great to get some idea of what this cat is like, and if that is what we want in our cat.

Adults are great starter cats because it is easier to develop communication skills. Things we like in kittens are also found in adult cats.

The problem is that people don't know how to make friends with adult cats. But that's easy!

I explain in The Bridge to Grown Cats.

What is the cat training concept, "Yours and Mine"?

There's a training technique I call yours and mine.

If our cat wants something, we don't frustrate them. We give them their own version to play with.

When Tristan was several months old, he kept getting in my way as I was sorting paperwork for taxes. This can be very exasperating!

But he was both a kitten who loves to play, and a cat who loves to share things with his people.

So I gave him a box lid and some stuff pulled from the recycling bin, and told him this was "his." He was very happy to imitate me, and even opened his own envelopes.

We are both less frustrated. We are both getting things done.

We are both, happier.

Often, our cat does not want the thing we are playing with... so much as they want to share the experience.

See my blog post about the training concept Yours and Mine.

How to make a cat obey

I often get asked, "How do I make my cat obey me?"

Reverend Jim, glad to do whatever is asked of him

They are often baffled by my reply. I say, "We make them happy."

The connection between Affection and Obedience is often the missing element when we have cat training troubles.

This is entirely different from the way dogs work. Whenever we try to use dog techniques on cats, we wind up with unhappy cats and frustrated people. So, we shouldn't do that.

Cats, unlike people and dogs, are not pack animals. They don't have "social shortcuts" that let them understand they are supposed to obey in a certain situation. In fact, there is no situation where a cat feels like they should obey!

Cats are used to relying upon themselves, or, trusted friends. If we get into the Trusted Friends category in our cat's head, we can then be relied upon to give advice, like "don't wake me up at the crack of dawn" or "bad things happen when you climb the drapes."

What we need to do is:

• Learn their language.
• Make friends with our cats.
• Ask them to do us favors.

It really is that simple.

For more about training with love, see The training rule that is always broken.