A Case of Mutual Rescue

It's a lovely saying about our pets, when we say, who rescued whom? It's expressing the depth and potential of our companion animal bond.

Two gray tabby kittens share a cat tree topper in a half circle shape, with the one on the left sitting up, with a big tabby ring around his neck. The lookalike kitten on the right is lying down, front paws with white tips hung over the side of the shelf, looking over their shoulder, with a big white shirtfront. The background is cream walls with a cherry taboret and wooden weather station on the wall.
Bud Abbott and Lou Costello,
always a package deal
I've found it puzzles some people, who do not understand. Their lens will only let them see what the human gives. Not what the feline brings.

faulty math

They think it's giving cats free food and shelter. They say I get nothing back that I can't get from a stuffed animal.

I say, "I can imagine anything I want, so what do you need the stuffed animal for?"

Conversation usually ends there. Which is fine. It's not even discussion, it's bullying by real or pretended dimness.

careful handling

Something conceptual, like affection and gratitude, can be poorly understood by the neglected. But I'm not qualified to rescue them.

Bud and Lou were another story. They were a Rescue Imperative. From the outside it can look like all the rescuing came from one side.

It's a love story. So it doesn't matter, anyway.

bonded pair

They are seven years old this summer, and still difficult to tell apart at first glance. In personality, they couldn't be more different.

Lou matured early. He's our Management Cat. Friend to all, steady as a rock. A cusp cat, with both Alpha and Beta traits.

While Bud is a pedal-to-the-metal high Alpha. More curiosity than sense. Still the brain of a kitten. Always the heart of a tiger.

mr personality

Cats don't have to be alike if they have bonded hearts. I didn't know those kittens would become a comedy team, but I certainly don't mind.

Bud is trouble. Mostly good trouble, because his mischief is about sharing high spirits and good feelings. He loves to talk, and is still works to vary his vocal responses. It ranges from tiny cries in his throat, to forceful honks, which echo through his nasal cavities.

That's his Siamese showing, in more than his lanky build.

circus in town

I'm a pushover for an Alpha cat. They are bright and fun-loving, but slow to mentally mature. They do need more exercise and room to run. We also need to keep their brains busy, with puzzles to solve and electronic toys.

Lou grew into a sturdier build and a big head like a softball. He has a strong Beta social drive, a friend to all. His moderated Alpha traits show up in fierce play with Bud, and his slow, determined, relentless ways to get attention.

He rarely says anything, but when he does we know the need is urgent.

sudden kittens

We weren't looking and didn't think we needed any. But only a year after we adopted Bud and Lou, our situation was so different. The four cats who had greeted those kittens had dwindled to one.

Maybe it wasn't planned that we got them, but it was beautiful. Reverend Jim got to raise two more kittens before he passed. Tristan never had to be lonely. His golden years were spent with Rhiannon.

Our Beta girl is the netting that catches everyone. She helps Lou with management, tells me when another cat has a request, and became besties with our next kitten, Morgen.

divine queen

Lou and Rhiannon help me handle Bud. They play with him, share dishes and toys, and treat him as the lovable fool he is.

This is why I caution people about Alphas. As kittens, they are cheerful clowns who make us laugh with their antics. As teen cats, they a pro athletes. Always insistently and delightfully affectionate. As adults, we wait around, staring at our watches, sure they would have calmed down by now.

Adopting an Alpha Cat Type means being willing to outwit the Alpha Cat Type. As needed and for their own good.

instant fam

Reverend Jim was adored by both kittens. Our Kitten Wrangler loved young ones. Even though his lively times were behind him, he was still able to beam many lessons into their kitten heads.

He was the big buffer cat who kept them polite and learning. After his passing, Tristan and Bud became close in shared grief, following an upward spiral.

Though at first, both of them being Alpha didn't help. Bud was peak teen cat, while Tristan had finally slowed down.

recognized for greatness

From the first, Bud disconcerted Tristan, who expected him to make sense. Bud developed a deep crush and became his adoring fan, with Tristan the stalked celebrity.

Finally interested in dignity, the former fireball known as Sir Tristan would come to me and ask, What's wrong with him?

I would tell Tristan, “He thinks you’re the most wonderful cat in the world.”

Tristan couldn't help being flattered. It had the advantage of being true. Tristan had always been The Kid. Which naturally precluded much admiration. Now, he had his own fan base.

student appears

When Bud learned to calm himself down, he could simply be Tristan‘s friend. Bud did figure out good ways to tease him, using his love of sneaking. 

Tristan would wake up to find that Bud's haunches were snuggled into his own. Or Bud’s tail, long and prehensile, was hugging him. All without waking him.

Deep down, it meant Tristan did like Bud. I would say to Tristan, "You see why I had to take him. He needs a team, a skilled team of experts."

Tristan would look thoughtful. Yes, I had made a good argument.

final triumph

I glimpsed a beautiful scene, shortly before Tristan‘s passing. Both lying quietly together, facing each other. Bud was stretched out with his paw on top of Tristan’s.

This was like getting a knighthood for silly young Bud.

While Lou went out more on his own, Bud never wanted to. Tristan allowed him to get ever closer. Bud would literally lie at his feet and let Tristan lecture him. I know they both liked that.

one last thing

That pull I felt towards these kittens has been repaid many times. There's also that Bud loves me deeply and without reserve, with utter silliness and complete seriousness.

I knew he had it in him. He deserves to reach his full potential. Instead of being misunderstood and unloved.

That would be a waste of precious resources.

Sorry! Disaster. Click here for below options

SEARCH for your cat subject below
Full site on my Patreon
Sign up for my email newsletter
Learn their ways with my book, The Way of Cats

Hope to see you again, soon.



How to Get a Cat to Love Us

How do cats bond? What can we do to let the cat know we love them? How can we know the cat loves us?

Mithrandir, 4 months old, loves being with us
One of the beautiful things about cats is how they love us exactly in response to how much we love them.

Unlike dogs, who have a hierarchal social structure, cats have social reflexes which operate reciprocatively. In other words, cats treat others exactly how they have been treated.

If we act like we care that our cat's needs are met, if we act like we want our cats to see us as friends, if we respond as though our cat's feeling have meaning to us... our cat will get the picture.

They will figure out that we do love them.

In my experience, this is unique in the pet kingdom. Other animals will understand that our commitment to our experience is in proportion to what they bring to the experience. Other humans might lag behind in that understanding this transaction. But, nonetheless, cats realize that our care equals our caring.

When we are able to successfully convey to our cats that we care about their welfare, they will be able to understand and reciprocate.

For help with connection with our cats, see Cat Affection Move: The Love Blanket.