This article has been moved to the NEW Blog.
Read it on The Way of Cats HERE.
Mr. Bond Has a Minion
When cats get along, there's nothing better. This morning Mr. Bond outsourced his reminders. I had been hitting snooze a couple of times, but it was five minutes before the breakfast deadline when RJ got on the foot of the bed. He was reminding me that it was time for breakfast.
Mr. Bond was waiting in the kitchen when I went in there, and I could tell he was pleased that RJ was proving to be so useful.
And I rubbed it in.
"I told you it would be fun to have a kitten. And you thought there wasn't any point to it at all!"
Mr. Bond has been showing RJ how to supervise from the first day. RJ has been an eager protege. In the photo Mr. Bond demonstrates that we watch the Robot work, and the Robot has a red light when it's about to work. For Mr. Bond, it's also a cat toy.
RJ will often be there too, excited when the red light seems to be taking too long. He runs around in a small circle to encourage it. Mr. Bond finds this to be an unnecessary frill.
RJ will often copy Mr. Bond's postures and be near him while he does it. They sleep together on the bed. They like each other because they are alike. It's not crucial that they share all the same traits. It is crucial that they don't have traits the other finds to be too obnoxious.
Choosing the right cat is not difficult, while giving no thought to it will dramatically increase our odds of a poor match. If we observe the cat loves to look out windows and sleep in the corner of the couch, we will choose a pet personality who will also like to do that, such as a cat who is more on the Gamma side.
We learned that a Alpha kitten would be too insistent that Puffy play with him. In Mr. Bond's case, he was a Beta, so I knew a Beta kitten would be far more likely to work well. RJ's friendly Beta personality is also drawing Puffy out, now that RJ has calmed down enough to communicate with Puffy.
But while Puffy likes him, Mr. Bond loves him. I can't wait to see what Mr. Bond teaches RJ next.
----
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There's more to The Way of Cats than the article you are reading now. See my LATEST CAT ADVICE.
Mr. Bond was waiting in the kitchen when I went in there, and I could tell he was pleased that RJ was proving to be so useful.And I rubbed it in.
"I told you it would be fun to have a kitten. And you thought there wasn't any point to it at all!"
Mr. Bond has been showing RJ how to supervise from the first day. RJ has been an eager protege. In the photo Mr. Bond demonstrates that we watch the Robot work, and the Robot has a red light when it's about to work. For Mr. Bond, it's also a cat toy.
RJ will often be there too, excited when the red light seems to be taking too long. He runs around in a small circle to encourage it. Mr. Bond finds this to be an unnecessary frill.
RJ will often copy Mr. Bond's postures and be near him while he does it. They sleep together on the bed. They like each other because they are alike. It's not crucial that they share all the same traits. It is crucial that they don't have traits the other finds to be too obnoxious.
Choosing the right cat is not difficult, while giving no thought to it will dramatically increase our odds of a poor match. If we observe the cat loves to look out windows and sleep in the corner of the couch, we will choose a pet personality who will also like to do that, such as a cat who is more on the Gamma side.
We learned that a Alpha kitten would be too insistent that Puffy play with him. In Mr. Bond's case, he was a Beta, so I knew a Beta kitten would be far more likely to work well. RJ's friendly Beta personality is also drawing Puffy out, now that RJ has calmed down enough to communicate with Puffy.
But while Puffy likes him, Mr. Bond loves him. I can't wait to see what Mr. Bond teaches RJ next.
----
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There's more to The Way of Cats than the article you are reading now. See my LATEST CAT ADVICE.
Game, Mr. Bond
Traditionally, James Bond, the super spy, plays baccarat. James Bond, the super cat, plays cat poker. They both play well.
Between the holidays, a spate of erratic work schedules, and various pressing and sudden errands, James Bond has been feeling neglected. This, despite my efforts to fuss over him to make up for it. He appreciates that, but apparently it was not enough.
For the past few nights he hasn't been automatically following me into the bedroom at night. This is my cue to seek him out and tell him I'm going to bed, rather than taking his showing up for granted.
This is a classic way cats communicate their feeling of being neglected. It's an amazing psychological ploy, indicating a knowledge of mutual feelings of regard and the use of empathy between unlike species. Unfortunately, without understanding on the part of the human, this brilliant move is about as useful as a Ruy Lopez chess opening during a game of volleyball.
Too often, people think the cat is being aloof and indifferent, and they will ignore the cat in turn. Then they will be convinced cats are not affectionate.
Mr. Bond is making this move because he is affectionate. He wants reassurance about how I feel about him, and not just when I feel like showing it. He wants to make a move, and see how I respond. Will I notice he's not coming around? Will I care?
Well, I do and I do. So when my reminder of bedtime last night was not followed up by his presence in the bedroom, I realized just how neglected he felt. So I had to see him and raise him. I started calling him, with extra drama. "Where's Mr. Bond? I miss him? He's not here!" And in a few minutes, he appeared, to roll ecstatically on the bed, smack me with his forehead, and wind up in his usual "teddy bear" position, cuddled against my chest.
I missed him. I said so. And if he hadn't come to me, I would have had to get up and get him.
After all, I love him. I don't mind showing it.
----
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There's more to The Way of Cats than the article you are reading now. See my LATEST CAT ADVICE.
Between the holidays, a spate of erratic work schedules, and various pressing and sudden errands, James Bond has been feeling neglected. This, despite my efforts to fuss over him to make up for it. He appreciates that, but apparently it was not enough.For the past few nights he hasn't been automatically following me into the bedroom at night. This is my cue to seek him out and tell him I'm going to bed, rather than taking his showing up for granted.
This is a classic way cats communicate their feeling of being neglected. It's an amazing psychological ploy, indicating a knowledge of mutual feelings of regard and the use of empathy between unlike species. Unfortunately, without understanding on the part of the human, this brilliant move is about as useful as a Ruy Lopez chess opening during a game of volleyball.
Too often, people think the cat is being aloof and indifferent, and they will ignore the cat in turn. Then they will be convinced cats are not affectionate.
Mr. Bond is making this move because he is affectionate. He wants reassurance about how I feel about him, and not just when I feel like showing it. He wants to make a move, and see how I respond. Will I notice he's not coming around? Will I care?
Well, I do and I do. So when my reminder of bedtime last night was not followed up by his presence in the bedroom, I realized just how neglected he felt. So I had to see him and raise him. I started calling him, with extra drama. "Where's Mr. Bond? I miss him? He's not here!" And in a few minutes, he appeared, to roll ecstatically on the bed, smack me with his forehead, and wind up in his usual "teddy bear" position, cuddled against my chest.
I missed him. I said so. And if he hadn't come to me, I would have had to get up and get him.
After all, I love him. I don't mind showing it.
----
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There's more to The Way of Cats than the article you are reading now. See my LATEST CAT ADVICE.
The Boss of Cat Town
Once we have more than one cat, we have Cat Town. As every Western movie fan knows, towns need someone to maintain order and keep the peace.
This article has been moved to the NEW blog,
The Way of Cats Blog.
Read it HERE.
This article has been moved to the NEW blog,
The Way of Cats Blog.
Read it HERE.
Catching the Uncatchable
Puffy had a funny reaction to the laser pointer toy we got to amuse the kitten. After observing it for a time, he now ignores it. He's decided it doesn't really exist. On some level, he is right.
We are used to Puffy's idiosyncratic reactions to things. It's rarely what we would expect, yet it often has a purpose.
In times past Mr. Bond observed that Puffy, when emerging from the bathroom where we had the litter box at the time, made a lovely ambush target. He always announced his presence therein with his fussy, protracted, covering ritual.
Scratch, scratch, scratch. Pause. Scratch, scratch. Pause. Scratch, scratch. Pause. Pause. Scratch.
This gave Mr. Bond plenty of time to evaluate the cover afforded by the hallway. In winter, tall boots were a good screen. In summer, he could buttonhook in from the kitchen doorway. Puffy never seemed to catch on. The perennial fall guy, he would trot happily out into the hall and get bowled over. He didn’t seem to mind; he would participate in the wrestling match for a while. Then he would go away.
He wouldn’t run away. He would mentally go away. Mr. Bond would be underneath, ready for another roll, when Puffy, paw uplifted, would freeze. His eyes would unfocus and gaze unseeingly into the distance. He would become so immobile that Mr. Bond would have to squirm out from under him, baffled, and walk off.
A clever ploy? A Ghandi-like maneuver to end the wrestling match? Because when Puffy finally got tired of the ambushing, he decided to ambush Mr. Bond. His method was to sit in the hallway, and when Mr. Bond came out, raise his paw over his head.
There! You are so ambushed!
Mr. Bond was disgusted by such a pathetic ambush attempt. He stopped.
Puffy; mentally challenged or misunderstood genius?
We're still trying to figure that out.
----
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There's more to The Way of Cats than the article you are reading now. See my LATEST CAT ADVICE.
We are used to Puffy's idiosyncratic reactions to things. It's rarely what we would expect, yet it often has a purpose.In times past Mr. Bond observed that Puffy, when emerging from the bathroom where we had the litter box at the time, made a lovely ambush target. He always announced his presence therein with his fussy, protracted, covering ritual.
Scratch, scratch, scratch. Pause. Scratch, scratch. Pause. Scratch, scratch. Pause. Pause. Scratch.
This gave Mr. Bond plenty of time to evaluate the cover afforded by the hallway. In winter, tall boots were a good screen. In summer, he could buttonhook in from the kitchen doorway. Puffy never seemed to catch on. The perennial fall guy, he would trot happily out into the hall and get bowled over. He didn’t seem to mind; he would participate in the wrestling match for a while. Then he would go away.
He wouldn’t run away. He would mentally go away. Mr. Bond would be underneath, ready for another roll, when Puffy, paw uplifted, would freeze. His eyes would unfocus and gaze unseeingly into the distance. He would become so immobile that Mr. Bond would have to squirm out from under him, baffled, and walk off.
A clever ploy? A Ghandi-like maneuver to end the wrestling match? Because when Puffy finally got tired of the ambushing, he decided to ambush Mr. Bond. His method was to sit in the hallway, and when Mr. Bond came out, raise his paw over his head.
There! You are so ambushed!
Mr. Bond was disgusted by such a pathetic ambush attempt. He stopped.
Puffy; mentally challenged or misunderstood genius?
We're still trying to figure that out.
----
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There's more to The Way of Cats than the article you are reading now. See my LATEST CAT ADVICE.
Dear Pammy, Will my cat be happy inside?
A reader writes:
My new kitten is so tiny I wouldn't dream of letting her out. But what about when she grows up? Won't she want to go out? Can she really be happy always living indoors?
Dear Readers,
Yes.
I think of my cats wanting to go outside the same way I think of my teenagers wanting to go out on the town in Manhattan. Yes, they want to. No, they shouldn't.
The fact is, cats are living in a world they did not make. Their instincts and reactions are not designed for cars. They cannot judge the speed and movements of cars, which travel much faster than they have been designed to handle. There's also parasites, diseases, other animals, and bad people. There's also the chance they can get lost or trapped somewhere.
Every time we let them out, we roll the dice.
The fact that they are bigger does not qualify them to handle the outdoors better than when they are a tiny kitten. They can be happy indoors.
The outdoors is interesting because of what they can do there. Bring that part indoors. If they like to climb, get a cat tree. Involve them in activities; if a show someone is watching is on, it's a simple matter to go and get them and see if they wants to sit around being petted for a while.
Make windows both accessible and interesting. Have interactive toys out for when we are out so they can play while we are gone, and pay attention to them when we are home. It's natural to think we are depriving them of the adventure outdoors, but we are also protecting them from dangers they cannot imagine; and thus, they cannot protect themselves against.
Where I live now, there's a busy road in front of me, and a wilderness area in back of me. Keeping my cats in seems like a no-brainer. But even in areas with less obvious dangers, dangers exist. No matter what age they are, cats are not designed to handle the outside world we have made. Even in their natural habitat, they are constantly on alert for predators; this is why cats have such quick reflexes and highly tuned nervous systems.
Offering them a happy home means we take care of them; better than they can do themselves. We aren't depriving them. We are protecting them.
We shouldn't feel guilty about that.
----
Got here from a Link or Search?
There's more to The Way of Cats than the article you are reading now. See my LATEST CAT ADVICE.
My new kitten is so tiny I wouldn't dream of letting her out. But what about when she grows up? Won't she want to go out? Can she really be happy always living indoors?
Dear Readers,Yes.
I think of my cats wanting to go outside the same way I think of my teenagers wanting to go out on the town in Manhattan. Yes, they want to. No, they shouldn't.
The fact is, cats are living in a world they did not make. Their instincts and reactions are not designed for cars. They cannot judge the speed and movements of cars, which travel much faster than they have been designed to handle. There's also parasites, diseases, other animals, and bad people. There's also the chance they can get lost or trapped somewhere.
Every time we let them out, we roll the dice.
The fact that they are bigger does not qualify them to handle the outdoors better than when they are a tiny kitten. They can be happy indoors.
The outdoors is interesting because of what they can do there. Bring that part indoors. If they like to climb, get a cat tree. Involve them in activities; if a show someone is watching is on, it's a simple matter to go and get them and see if they wants to sit around being petted for a while.
Make windows both accessible and interesting. Have interactive toys out for when we are out so they can play while we are gone, and pay attention to them when we are home. It's natural to think we are depriving them of the adventure outdoors, but we are also protecting them from dangers they cannot imagine; and thus, they cannot protect themselves against.
Where I live now, there's a busy road in front of me, and a wilderness area in back of me. Keeping my cats in seems like a no-brainer. But even in areas with less obvious dangers, dangers exist. No matter what age they are, cats are not designed to handle the outside world we have made. Even in their natural habitat, they are constantly on alert for predators; this is why cats have such quick reflexes and highly tuned nervous systems.
Offering them a happy home means we take care of them; better than they can do themselves. We aren't depriving them. We are protecting them.
We shouldn't feel guilty about that.
----
Got here from a Link or Search?
There's more to The Way of Cats than the article you are reading now. See my LATEST CAT ADVICE.
Did I Live Like a Cat?
Despite my best planning, I didn't make my first Live Like a Cat Day as complete as I would have liked.
But I did sleep in. Getting enough sleep is an important part of being a cat.
While I ran errands in the morning, I used that time to pick up some books, both library and local small bookstore, that I had wanted to read for a while. While grocery shopping I picked up some goodies. So if we look at the morning as hunting and capturing, it was a successful one.
Upon returning to the lair, I brewed up a huge, coffeehouse cup of homemade cocoa, which we can call catnip for humans, and have settled in to watch things out the window, or TV screen, if you want to be technical. If something interesting moved in the window, I watched that. The rest of the time, I looked out another window (my laptop screen) and played with my toy (the new biography of Warren Zevon. Quite a lively toy, I must say.)
Because a cat will think of others, I helped my fellow cats by putting a new scratch pad in the Trackball toy, and serving canned salmon for dinner. In keeping with the theme, I had shrimp. Happy, happy cats!
In the evening, we watched one of our Christmas presents, Blade Runner. We discussed the nature of humanity.
As, indeed, cats must do, every day.
We just don't know it.
----
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There's more to The Way of Cats than the article you are reading now. See my LATEST CAT ADVICE.
But I did sleep in. Getting enough sleep is an important part of being a cat.
While I ran errands in the morning, I used that time to pick up some books, both library and local small bookstore, that I had wanted to read for a while. While grocery shopping I picked up some goodies. So if we look at the morning as hunting and capturing, it was a successful one.
Upon returning to the lair, I brewed up a huge, coffeehouse cup of homemade cocoa, which we can call catnip for humans, and have settled in to watch things out the window, or TV screen, if you want to be technical. If something interesting moved in the window, I watched that. The rest of the time, I looked out another window (my laptop screen) and played with my toy (the new biography of Warren Zevon. Quite a lively toy, I must say.)
Because a cat will think of others, I helped my fellow cats by putting a new scratch pad in the Trackball toy, and serving canned salmon for dinner. In keeping with the theme, I had shrimp. Happy, happy cats!
In the evening, we watched one of our Christmas presents, Blade Runner. We discussed the nature of humanity.
As, indeed, cats must do, every day.
We just don't know it.
----
Got here from a Link or Search?
There's more to The Way of Cats than the article you are reading now. See my LATEST CAT ADVICE.
Confuse-A-Cat: More Than a Great Sketch.
It's great advice.
Cats are intelligent animals. As hunters, they not only need their speed and skill, they need strategy. In the home, they still have these needs. People are used to thinking of cats needing structures to climb on and toys to play with. But they might not be as cognizant of the cat's need for mental stimulation.
As cats increase in age, and decrease in energy, it's often felt that the cat is now a known quantity and nothing more need to be done. But the cat, like a human of a certain age, has left behind the unfocused energy of kittenhood and the rowdy storms of adolescence. They are mature, skillful, and at the peak of their powers.
So go ahead. Confuse the cat. They need things to think about.
What Can a Cat Overcome?
Rescuing a cat from bad circumstances is a wonderful feeling. Rescues are supposed to have a happy ending. But we need to remember that the best we can do is maximize the cat's potential; we cannot change the intrinsic nature of the cat.
Puffy is actually coming out for play sessions lately. Not that he actually plays; not that he does it every time. But under the supervised encouragement of RJ, Puffy is being more social.
How far can he go? Probably not much farther.
Puffy is never going to be a ball of fire. He's not going to throw toys around, or greet me in the morning, or wrestle with RJ. That's not in his repertoire. Getting him over his shyness has always been a two-steps-forward, one-step-back kind of progression. Dear Husband and I work on him all the time, figuring out what treats will bring him out of his lair, bringing him into the bedroom to cuddle with him on the bed, even though he only lasts a few minutes before he flees.
Without our constant encouragement, he wouldn't even have that. A Puffy ignored would be a Puffy invisible. As far as I know, and I got him pretty young, he was not mistreated. He's just that way.
On the considerable other hand, there's RJ, who could qualify as some experiment in deprivation. Skin and bones even after a month in the shelter, and he didn't know what a toy was when we got him. He's still a little off, but we couldn't ask for a sweeter, cuddlier, kitten. He's just that way.
Some cats, resilient and socialized, can bounce back from the most terrible of circumstances. Some cats, timid and fearful, don't have any background of abuse, yet act terribly traumatized. I've known cats to make a comeback from abuse, injury, or years of neglect on the street. Sometimes it's a matter of calming them down enough for their true personality to shine through. Sometimes it's creating a routine that gives them a sense of security. Sometimes it's as simple as making that soul-to-soul connection, right away, or over time, that reassures us both that this relationship will work out.
If we get the smallest glimmer from the cat, the slightest sign; there's hope. They can do it. They want to do it.
They just need our help.
----
Got here from a Link or Search?
There's more to The Way of Cats than the article you are reading now. See my LATEST CAT ADVICE.
Puffy is actually coming out for play sessions lately. Not that he actually plays; not that he does it every time. But under the supervised encouragement of RJ, Puffy is being more social.How far can he go? Probably not much farther.
Puffy is never going to be a ball of fire. He's not going to throw toys around, or greet me in the morning, or wrestle with RJ. That's not in his repertoire. Getting him over his shyness has always been a two-steps-forward, one-step-back kind of progression. Dear Husband and I work on him all the time, figuring out what treats will bring him out of his lair, bringing him into the bedroom to cuddle with him on the bed, even though he only lasts a few minutes before he flees.
Without our constant encouragement, he wouldn't even have that. A Puffy ignored would be a Puffy invisible. As far as I know, and I got him pretty young, he was not mistreated. He's just that way.
On the considerable other hand, there's RJ, who could qualify as some experiment in deprivation. Skin and bones even after a month in the shelter, and he didn't know what a toy was when we got him. He's still a little off, but we couldn't ask for a sweeter, cuddlier, kitten. He's just that way.
Some cats, resilient and socialized, can bounce back from the most terrible of circumstances. Some cats, timid and fearful, don't have any background of abuse, yet act terribly traumatized. I've known cats to make a comeback from abuse, injury, or years of neglect on the street. Sometimes it's a matter of calming them down enough for their true personality to shine through. Sometimes it's creating a routine that gives them a sense of security. Sometimes it's as simple as making that soul-to-soul connection, right away, or over time, that reassures us both that this relationship will work out.
If we get the smallest glimmer from the cat, the slightest sign; there's hope. They can do it. They want to do it.
They just need our help.
----
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There's more to The Way of Cats than the article you are reading now. See my LATEST CAT ADVICE.
When Caution is Their Middle Name
All my cats have something wrong with them. RJ was extremely deprived, though he's getting over it. Puffy is, well, logic challenged. And Mr. Bond, even for a cat, is really, really, cautious.
As we can see, Mr. Bond is not happy having his picture taken with my new picture phone. I sprang for the picture phone since it was, in theory, something handy that I could use to get candid shots before they get away. This theory has some support; I got Mr. Bond before he got away.
I don't even have to click the shutter; the mere nearness of this strange object is enough for Mr. Bond to flee. Mr. Bond has always been overly cautious; I got him as a kitten because no one could cuddle him, it took him a year to figure out a way to use the Litter Robot, and it took him four years to become a buddy to Dear Husband. That's just his way, and I can't change him.
But... know what? Everyone is a package deal.
Yes, there's something wrong with my cats, or I wouldn't have gotten them. I've been a "last chance" adopter for years now, and the challenges are great. So are the rewards.
Cautious cats come in many flavors. Mr. Bond will come out and greet visitors; as long as they don't try to pet him. He shrugs off new furniture and changes in routine; as long as he is told beforehand. He will explore any new object; as long as it doesn't move or make noises. Once committed, he's not cautious anymore. I have his total devotion. I have the responsibility to make sure he knows he is loved, every day. Or he will feel bereft and abandoned.
I feel this is the core of Mr. Bond's caution; he has the intelligence and imagination to worry about terrible things happening, and he acts on that knowledge. Other cautious cats might have different motivations; trauma or timidity might be the reason a cat is slow to warm up and quick to hide behind the sofa. If we pay attention, we can discover what might have made our cat cautious. If we make overtures, we can find the best way to their heart.
Because there's a heart-lifting, lovely thing about a cautious cat.
The times they are not.
----
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There's more to The Way of Cats than the article you are reading now. See my LATEST CAT ADVICE.
As we can see, Mr. Bond is not happy having his picture taken with my new picture phone. I sprang for the picture phone since it was, in theory, something handy that I could use to get candid shots before they get away. This theory has some support; I got Mr. Bond before he got away.I don't even have to click the shutter; the mere nearness of this strange object is enough for Mr. Bond to flee. Mr. Bond has always been overly cautious; I got him as a kitten because no one could cuddle him, it took him a year to figure out a way to use the Litter Robot, and it took him four years to become a buddy to Dear Husband. That's just his way, and I can't change him.
But... know what? Everyone is a package deal.
Yes, there's something wrong with my cats, or I wouldn't have gotten them. I've been a "last chance" adopter for years now, and the challenges are great. So are the rewards.
Cautious cats come in many flavors. Mr. Bond will come out and greet visitors; as long as they don't try to pet him. He shrugs off new furniture and changes in routine; as long as he is told beforehand. He will explore any new object; as long as it doesn't move or make noises. Once committed, he's not cautious anymore. I have his total devotion. I have the responsibility to make sure he knows he is loved, every day. Or he will feel bereft and abandoned.
I feel this is the core of Mr. Bond's caution; he has the intelligence and imagination to worry about terrible things happening, and he acts on that knowledge. Other cautious cats might have different motivations; trauma or timidity might be the reason a cat is slow to warm up and quick to hide behind the sofa. If we pay attention, we can discover what might have made our cat cautious. If we make overtures, we can find the best way to their heart.
Because there's a heart-lifting, lovely thing about a cautious cat.
The times they are not.
----
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There's more to The Way of Cats than the article you are reading now. See my LATEST CAT ADVICE.
Who Trains Whom?
It’s not true that cats have no guilt. They do have a guilt trigger. But it’s only pulled by our showing disappointment, and them giving a damn. If they have no regard for us, they don’t care what we think.
If we are punitive and angry about what they have done, they will think we don't like them. They will not connect it with what they have done. Anger towards a cat will always damage the relationship. It will not result in better behavior.
So the best thing we can do to have a well behaved cat is to have a well loved cat. They will then care if they made us unhappy.
If we do come home to something disappointing, go ahead and mourn over it. This is actually a more effective strategy to help the cat understand their role in what happened than trying to punish them.
They are totally innocent of any bad intentions, so don’t transfer our ill feeling about any accidents to the cat. They won’t understand and they will be hurt by what is, to them, our inexplicable coldness.
We can’t do anything after the fact, but we can be a guide to proper behavior when we are around. Staying in touch, warning them off unsafe practices, and praising them for good behaviors actually works. It’s not that cats are immune to such blandishments. It has to have a foundation of a close bond so we can increase our influence.
All this guidance shouldn’t be a one way street. While we are training them to ignore our valuables, stay off the counters in the kitchen, and not eviscerate the toilet paper, they should be training us, too.
Listen to them when they let us know where they like the litter box, what kind of food is their favorite, how they like to be petted and when. If they approach us with a request, even if it’s just a longing look, we should make our best effort to figure out what it is they want, and give it to them.
While we are training them, we can keep them feeling as though they trained us. In fact, I recommend it. The best relationships are mutual, after all.
That is the key to successful cat training; the successful negotiation of each other’s wishes to create a harmonious atmosphere for both of us.
----
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There's more to The Way of Cats than the article you are reading now. See my LATEST CAT ADVICE.
If we are punitive and angry about what they have done, they will think we don't like them. They will not connect it with what they have done. Anger towards a cat will always damage the relationship. It will not result in better behavior. So the best thing we can do to have a well behaved cat is to have a well loved cat. They will then care if they made us unhappy.
If we do come home to something disappointing, go ahead and mourn over it. This is actually a more effective strategy to help the cat understand their role in what happened than trying to punish them.
They are totally innocent of any bad intentions, so don’t transfer our ill feeling about any accidents to the cat. They won’t understand and they will be hurt by what is, to them, our inexplicable coldness.
We can’t do anything after the fact, but we can be a guide to proper behavior when we are around. Staying in touch, warning them off unsafe practices, and praising them for good behaviors actually works. It’s not that cats are immune to such blandishments. It has to have a foundation of a close bond so we can increase our influence.
All this guidance shouldn’t be a one way street. While we are training them to ignore our valuables, stay off the counters in the kitchen, and not eviscerate the toilet paper, they should be training us, too.
Listen to them when they let us know where they like the litter box, what kind of food is their favorite, how they like to be petted and when. If they approach us with a request, even if it’s just a longing look, we should make our best effort to figure out what it is they want, and give it to them.
While we are training them, we can keep them feeling as though they trained us. In fact, I recommend it. The best relationships are mutual, after all.
That is the key to successful cat training; the successful negotiation of each other’s wishes to create a harmonious atmosphere for both of us.
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